Introduction to Values

Have you even wondered what your highest values are and why they are important? 

Well, you are about to find out!

The aim is to share some useful tips on how knowing your own values can help you understand your decisions, and why sometimes we don’t make progress on the things we ‘think’ we really want. I’ll go deeper into this in a future blog post as it’s a big topic.

For now, just a quick introduction to values.

What are values?

Values are like an inner compass – they are what matter to you deep in your heart.

Knowing your values helps you identify what the most important things in your life are.

Values act as a guideline on how we treat ourselves, how we treat others, and they govern decisions that we make day to day.

Once you have better clarity on your values, you can then start making more conscious daily choices, to live your life in a way that is more aligned with your values. Ultimately this leads to higher levels of happiness and fulfilment.

 Sometimes we make decisions and live lives that are in conflict with our values. This leads to unhappiness and a sense of lack, because we are not being true to who we are.

Let me give you an example:

Let’s say that this are Mr Smith’s 5 top values:

1. Freedom
2. Security
3. Integrity
4. Health
5. Connection

He works a stressful corporate job, often working 60-80 hour weeks. He earns a great salary, which fulfils his 2^nd most important value – security, as it provides him and his family with good financial security. However, he is miserable in his job, and he can’t understand why. Well, if you look at the list, he has identified ‘freedom’ as his number 1 value. By working in a job that limits his freedom, he is not serving his top value, and thus, he is living a life that is not fully in alignment.

So why does he continue to stay in this job despite feeling unhappy? Well, his 2^nd top value, security, makes him feel compelled to remain in his high paying corporate job, so he is serving some of his values but not others.

What is the solution? The solution is to firstly have good awareness of one’s values, so that we can work with them, and not against them. Also, it is important to know that some values may conflict with one another, and we need to find ways to get them to work in harmony. Freedom and security can sometimes conflict, because a person may crave freedom, but the need for security may make them sacrifice the freedom they long for.

By simply having awareness, we can start making decisions that do not conflict with one another. For instance, Mr Smith could start to look for ways to cut down his hours in his corporate job, while still protecting some of his income, and start to look for ways to feel more free. Eventually he may be able to transition to a job as a freelancer for instance, where he is able to serve his value of security (by continuing to have a good salary), but he can now serve his value of freedom, by working for himself, having his own clients, and choosing his own hours. 

So, how do you start eliciting your own values?

This exercise is best done in a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed for about 10-15 minutes. Take a journal and a pen and think of the following: 

1. Write a list of all the things that are important to you. For example: healthy food, exercise, wealth, sleep, family, faith, etc etc.
2. Then look at your list and see if you can group any of the items together – for example healthy food, exercise and sleep could all go under ‘health’.
3. Now look at your list and see if you can put the items in order of importance. These are your top values.

When I first tried this exercise, I struggled with part one, and found that my list felt somewhat superficial or incomplete. If you are struggling with the same, spend a bit more time going through more thought-provoking questions, that will help elicit deeper hidden values.

Use these as a guideline, but add any others that you come up with:

1. Describe a time when you felt really fulfilled in your career. What was going on and what made you happy?
2. When you reach the age of 90, more than anything else, what would you have liked to have accomplished in your life?
3. What is the one thing that you have always wanted to do, be or have?
4. What is the one character flaw in a person that would push you away from them permanently? What would be the opposite of this?
5. If you could make one drastic change in your life right now, in order to make life better, what would it be and why?
6. What are the three top things that make you feel really happy/fulfilled, whenever you spend time doing or being those things?

OK! That’s all for today. I hope you find it helpful and insightful. Please do feel free to share your thoughts with me by simply replying to this email. Would love to hear from you!

Wishing you a lovely week ahead

Dr Marcela Aguirre